So…a funny thing happened to me this week.
I received a text from an acquaintance of mine which read something like this…
“Hey Ron-Ron, Avengers Fri night in Silver Spring in IMAX 3D…I’ll get the tickets, you get the nom noms…”
Just to clarify, when I asked what ‘nom noms’ were, he replied food. -Yeah I know right…for the first time ever, I was asked to go dutch!!!!
Ok serious up tho yall, I felt somekinda way. I was insulted. Here’s a little bit of information about me: I’m old school. I believe in traditional roles, but by no means am I rigid. I believe that if you invite somebody out, then it’s understood to be a common courtesy to cover the total cost; not 50-50, 60-40, 70-30, etc. Mind you, if you’re attempting to court somebody in the direction of a relationship, it is never optimal to recommend going ‘dutch.’ This particular scenario was just bad dating ettiquette all up and thru! If this was a platonic outing, then allow me to choose the time and place where I would like to see the movie of my choice and don’t just immediately cop the tickets without even waiting for my response. I aint asked to go see no Avengers and I damn sure aint asked to see it in IMAX 3D up in Silver Springs. That’s far-chial gas is $4/gallon! #AintNobodyGotTimeFaDat!
Also, how does spending $37 on some fancy highfalutin movie tickets (that you wanted to see) equate to the cost of a meal tho? I know what yall thinking, ‘Did somebody say McDonalds???’ But nah yall, this knee-grow suggested we go to Phillips, the seafood buffet -___- that shit aint cheap! Then, after I shut that down, the response was essentially: ‘Well as long as we go somewhere we can eat and get tipsy before the movie.’ Ok iDied! Sooooo…let me get write this vision and make it ALL the way plain… You expect me to take you to a nice sit-down dinner and eat and order drinks because you bought me a $18.50 ticket to a movie that YOU wanted to see in a theater that YOU wanted to see it at that’s convenient for YOU and not me at a time that YOU think is convenient, which isn’t convenient for me at all… Oh. Ok. See now why I was so turned off???
I consulted with several members of my Pink House Cabinet on this one, and even another man and I got some varied responses. There were a few that surprised me, but overall, it was just as I suspected. The man that I asked gave me the response that most closely resembled my sentiment about this whole fiasco: If a man asks you to go dutch, then either he thinks you’re real cool but wants to keep it strictly platonic, OR he’s just that damn cheap! Either way, those two options were not ones that I was ok with; at least right now at this present moment. See, I’m very fortunate to know who I am and exactly what I want outta life. At this point, I’m looking for a potential life partner. And there are certain fundamentals that I believe that it would behoove that particular person, whoever they may turn out to be, to share similar opinions. Traditional gender roles, wherever appropriate and within reason are always how I strive to do things. You have to show people how to treat you, especially in the beginning phases of any relationship, be it a platonic one or not. And I am just not willing to start up with something that I am not willing to continue throughout the whole relationship.
I was distraught chial! As always, I ran the gamut of emotion from being shocked to being pissed, annoyed and then ultimately, the worst one: disappointed. I was disappointed not in him, because hell he was just being who he is. I think I was disappointed because he turned out to be exactly who I suspected him to be- a cheap ass man! Being that this was a new acquaintance, I saw the signs. But, since we were still in the early evaluation stages I was trying to give ole boy the benefit of the doubt. On our first date, which was coincidentally probably the best first date I’ve ever gone on #irony, when he suggested we go to the bar in the courtyard of the National Portrait Gallery and declared, “Get what you want, I got you,” In my mind, I kid yall not I was like, “Biiiiiiiiiiish I know you got me, you invited me out and up to this bar!” What the hell I look like??? Now on the other hand, I thought maybe he was nervous or something. After all I know I’m like really extravagant, so I would need someone who is more on the frugal side than me. So as I was evaluating I thought that maybe this would be a good thing for me. That is, until this phuckery occurred.
Now don’t get me wrong; in now way do I feel that I’m the queen of the universe and that every man should always pay for everything for me, ever. That’s not it at all. I don’t object to footing the bill some of the time. But please, for the love of gawd DO NOT IMPOSE THAT SHIT ON ME! Especially not on what would be our third date! I don’t know you like that son. Ladies, we have got to do better! This behavior at this stage in the game is never ok. You can’t keep getting mad and complaining about how knee-grows aint shit if you keep lowering your standards and settling for this type of sub-par behavior! Now, if you like this type of thing then fine boo do you! But one thing about this bish right here, she damn sho aint hard up for no attention.
There are other ways that we can express our gratitude while asserting our role within the dynamics of the relationship. Example: Women ‘pay’ for dates in different ways than men do…yeah that cornbread and collard greens and home made mac and cheese and all that other shit I be cooking aint cheap; that wine you drinking cost money, that White Hennessy you sippin’ on can’t even be bought stateside; all that shit cost! And I do believe that around the 4th or 5th date the woman should ‘pay’ like that. This is after we’ve established somekinda direction for our ‘relationship’ though, not after 2 dates!!!
I’ve been eating this all week yall since I had some extra Hollandaise sauce I needed to eat up.
- 2 English Muffins
- 4 eggs
- 4 c baby spinach
- 1/2 c sweet onion, finely chopped
- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- olive oil
- Hollandaise Sauce
- paprika, for garnish
In a stainless steel skillet over medium high heat, warm the olive oil and add the onion and cook until translucent, for about 3 mins. Add the garlic then after a minute add the washed and dried spinach and the nutmeg. Cook until wilted, for about 3 mins.
Meanwhile, prepare your eggs. For traditional eggs florentine you wanna poach them, but I always scramble mine because I absolutely detest the taste of eggs (I know right).
- In order to poach eggs: break them individually into separate cups (this will keep them from combining). Bring a medium saucepan half filled with water to a boil. Add about a tablespoon of white vinegar and a pinch of salt. Add the eggs one at a time, cover the pan and remove from the heat. Allow the eggs to sit for about 5 mins until they are ready.
Cut the English muffins in half and toast them. Layer them on the plate. add the eggs on top of each of the slices then layer on a nice amount of spinach. Top with the hollandaise sauce and sprinkle with paprika.