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So here’s a rare (not really) glimpse into my life yall.

Today I visited a relative of mine, my father’s oldest sister who lives in Fort Washington, MD after church.  I didn’t do this totally on my own, but rather to help out my cousin.  -Long story, different post.  But needless to say, that this experience was both a test and affirmation of my faith, and left me with a sense of both sadness and smug satisfaction.  So, here’s how I spent my Sunday; like to hear it here it go!

After a bomb sermon by Pastor Delman Coates (I know, I usually don’t talk about/shout out church or my pastor, but this was right on time today!) at the good Mt. Ennon Baptist Church in Clinton, MD 😉 I decided to make an attempt to complete a task for my cousin (again).  Said task involved my going to my aunt’s house in Fort Washington, whom I hadn’t spoken to since…I don’t even remember the last time I spoke to her, though I saw her last summer at my cousin’s funeral where she proudly took responsibility for my cousin’s salvation and thus, her subsequent assumed trip up to heaven since she had just died o_O  She didn’t even know what I looked like yall…until today.

I rang the doorbell twice, when she asked who it was at the door and I stated my first name and she replied, “Ronica who?”, chial…

So I sat through about 2 hours of long and arduous rudimentary conversation that was just unfruitful and narcissistic at best.  She summoned her husband so he could ‘come look at Ronnie’s daughter’ and chial I bout lost it.  But in the midst of all of this, something happened.  During one of my many periods of ‘fading to black’ as I like to call it, my mind started to wander elsewhere.  (fading to black is where you passively listen to whoever’s talking to me so that I appear engaged but in actuality I’m doing other things in my head -something I’ve virtually mastered being a counselor and all tee hee 🙂

First I started to feel a little sadness for her and her husband.  Here they sit before me, each of them almost 66 years old, but they knew absolutely nothing! Sure she could talk to me about how she retired from DCPS after 37 years of working and now works 6 hours a day for FEMA and plans to stop in August when she turns 66 to collect her social security and then they plan on moving to Florida after they retire again… He could also ask me what I did for a living, do a little name-dropping to see if I knew of any of his ‘people’ then question where I lived and went to school and blah blah blah.

They were clueless.  Not only did they not know who I was, which is fine, but they were also soooooooooo self-involved that they appeared polarizing.  The ‘get to know your dead-beat brother’s children’ ship sailed a long time ago, but here these people were, sitting in front of me, interrogation style almost, in a house they exist in totally devoid of any noticeable traces of joy.  There are in the home stretch of life as I like to call it, but the only thing they have to show after having walked this Earth for almost 132 years between them, are their material acquisitions.  They have no discernible wealth to impart to others; I’m not referring to monetary wealth, but rather the wealth that comes from living rather than existing.  Sure, they may have assets to leave their son and two daughters, but what did they do with their time here?   Who did they help?  Who’s life did they change for the better, without any recognition and when they had nothing to gain?  Exactly.

It’s not like I didn’t know this is how they were, or that this is pretty much how all of my father’s people are, hence their absence in our lives.  Notwithstanding that though, the fact that they are still so empty, but can’t see it: oh yeah, she’s an ordained minister yall o_O  is what’s even sadder.  When you profess to be ‘called’ to spread a gospel of a man whom you know nothing about, evidenced by how you live your life and your regard for others, including your own flesh and blood, and you do so with a type of vigor and zeal that is only seen publicly, I can’t help but ache for you.

Because see, I truly have grasped the concept that you have to treat people the way you wanna be treated regardless of whats in it for you, or how it looks to the outside world.  I know that while I will accumulate monetary wealth and end up with a lotta letters behind my name, that the gifts I’m able to acquire and pass on that can’t be seen and the letters in front of my name are more important.  Sometimes children with abandonment issues can grow up feeling as though they were rejected by the one who abandoned them, or feeling unwanted, or unwelcome, etc.  Thus, making them feel as though they are ‘missing’ something.  Today was just another reminder that I wasn’t the one who missed the mark in life.  And I’m only 28… 🙂

Blue Cheese Dressing

Yeah I don’t eat store bought blue cheese dressing either yall 0_0

Ingredients

  • 1/2 lb crumbled blue cheese
  • 1/3 c lemon juice
  • 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tsp hot sauce
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 3/4 tsp black pepper
  • 1/c olive oil
  • 1/4 c buttermilk

Combine the blue cheese, lemon juice, Worcestershire, hot sauce, salt and black pepper in a medium-size mixing bowl. Using the back of a fork, mash the mixture together to form a thick paste. Drizzle in the olive oil, stirring continuously with the fork until the mixture is creamy. Add the buttermilk last and mix well. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour before serving.  You can usually keep this in the refrigerator for a week or so.

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