Wanna hear a ‘funny’ story???
Yesterday, as I’m at work, I get an email from the condo association talmbout the batteries in my smoke detector need changing and I had 3 options and blah blah whateva hoe. So, long story short I had them deliver the batteries to my door and responded that I’d change the batteries myself when I got home from work. That was my first mistake.
SN: I don’t know how I feel about that email tho yall. I mean, I appreciate them keeping me safe and all…but…what you wont do is send me a menacing email making it seem like its the end of the world as we know it because my batteries low. I mean, ok, but yeah, whatever.
So, when I got home the batteries were there. I went through my usual routine when arriving home from work: heels- off at the door, briefcase- plopped by the closet, purse and keys- on the counter, *potty break*, change into my cozies, *pours glass of wine* (in this case, penis egregious tee hee), proceeds to turn oven on to prepare my nom noms 😉 TV turned on to the rap channel for some good ole fashioned hood tunes.
When I got around to getting my step ladder and changing the smoke detector batteries, stove was on and wine was had! So after it took me a good 30 mins (no bull) to get the damn cover off and figure out how to change the funny shaped things, I couldn’t get the damn thing back on! I was pissed.com! I felt so defeated at one point I wanted to cry (yes I do that from time to time cuz I’m a girl). Aaaaaaaaaand when I did finally figure out how to get the thing back up there, it kept on chirping, like wtf man?!?! So, I hit the button to silence it, or so I thought.
Chial I had done set the fire alarm off!
So I silenced it and continued about my mildly-drunken evening. But quiet as its kept, I had done triggered the alarm for the building too! Less than 2 mins later, as I was pouring my second glass of wine 😉 I gets a knock on my door. On the other side were 2 firemens yall lol! But not like good ones- like the ones we fantasize about. Nah, it was some skinny lil dude who was like 5’6 at best and a woman with him. And they were dressed like there was about to fight a fire too, so precious! “Ma’am, is everything alright?” I was too embarrassed when I had to admit what had happened. In my attempt to do something so routine and mundane as change some batteries I had set off the butterfly effect yall!
See, this right here is exactly why I aint about this life! Changing batteries in the smoke detector- that is a man’s work! Changing the a/c filter- man’s work! Trying to figure out why the outlet I plug my hair dryer in won’t work no more- man’s work!!! All of these are tasks that I’ve had to do recently that I loathe because they go against every natural fiber in my body! Hell, I still don’t know why the outlet wont work! Sure, I’m capable of taking out my own trash and changing light bulbs and what not, but serious up yall I’d rather not.
I’ve been having this conversation with a lot of my friends as of late and we all share this sentiment: We aint about this life! Not saying that we need a man but yeah we kinda do, if nothing else but to do handy work and such. I remember when I had to buy a toolbox. Yup, an actual toolbox yall from home depot! I was pissed. In my mind, I should not have a toolbox! My name and Bookman and this aint Good Times! Aaaaand when my brother came and moved me last fall and he went through my toolbox he had the nerve to criticize me for not having actual tools in it, he talmbout I got arts and crafts supplies in it *kanye shrug*
I know we all about this ‘I’m every woman it’s all in me’ attitude and all, but yall can have that shat! I know my place, and it aint up on no ladder for anything except to reach the shoes at the very top of the closet!
Now on the other hand, a bish will cook you up a mean steak and potatoes tho!
Old Fashioned Chocolate Pie
- 2 eggs, beaten
- 1 stick unsalted butter, room temperature to melted
- 1 c sugar
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1/2 c cocoa
- 1/4 c flour
- a little milk (whole milk or pet milk)
- Pie Crust
Preheat oven to 350°F
Cream the eggs with the butter in a bowl then add the sugar and vanilla and mix thoroughly.
Add the cocoa and flour and combine until all the ingredients are mixed well. Add a dash of milk until you get a consistency that’s like somewhere between creamy and runny, but not runny.
Pour the filling into the pie crust and bake for about 20 mins, until the pie is golden brown.
Serve with whipped cream or ice cream, or eat it alone.