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Let me preface this post by saying this this is probably geared more towards the women.  Or the men who like other mens, if ya know what I mean…

You’ve been warned.

Can I be myself yall?  Can I say what’s on my mind?

Aint nothing better than a man with a nice strongback! ‘But what’s a strongback tho?’ you might be wondering… that’s just ludicrous.  That’s like asking me ‘what’s in the new chicken wrap??’ -pretty self-explanatory.  But for those of you who don’t know, allow me to enlighten you…

(it’s crazy, but as I was doing my research for this post- yes I spits knowledge yall, I actually found scientific evidence to support my hypothesis) 

Our good friends over at wikipedia give this definitation:

strongback: a beam or girder which acts as a secondary support member to existing structure.

  • A strongback in a staircase is usually ordinary two-by dimensional lumber attached to the staircase stringers to stiffen the assembly.
  • In shipbuilding, a strongback is oriented lengthwise along a ship to brace across several frames in the case of hull damage.

Note the operative words: support, stiffen…brace…we’ll come back to these later.

Anyone who knows me, knows that there are a few things that I love on this earf: a good pair of shoes (preferably leppry heels!), cooking good food, and mens! La Bohème loves the mens chial! Yaaaaaaas!  -(Just as any normal 28 year old heterosexual single woman would), so don’t pull it!

See, men check for the bust size ratio to the waist ratio to the ratio of a woman’s hips.  Primitively, these things are signs of fertility.  But as for me and my house…  ok let me stop and gone on and get into it.

There are different types of mens out there- for the sake of this post tho, I wanna turn your attention to the book of Strongback, the first chapter, beginning at the first verse.

A little anatomy lesson here.  We all know the basics how men and women are anatomically different etc… Now in order for a man to be qualified as a strongback, there must be at least a 3:4 shoulder to waist ratio.  This meaning, that the width of your shoulders from edge to edge, when divided by the width of your waist measurement should come out to at most 3/4 or .75 like so:

For example, if this gentleman’s shoulders measured 20″ across while his waist was only 15″ across he would have a ratio of .75, making him fit the definition to have that V shape that’s scientifically more attractive in men.  The lower this ratio, meaning, the wider his back, the better!

But it’s not enough just to have the ratio.  Oh, no gawd! Strongback isn’t just about the physical capability, but also the actual willingness to put that brute strength to use.  As one of these modern independent self sufficient women blah blah whatever, yes it’s true I can take care of myself.  But there are certain things that I would just rather not do and that I’m physically incapable of doing, at least without causing injury or harm to msyelf.  I affectionately refer to these things as ‘mens work’, and yall know what I mean.  So, what good is a man with a nice strong back if I’mma still have to take out my own trash, or change my own tire call AAA to change my flat tire, or flip my own mattress over?  No gawd!

Like the operative words in the wikipedia definitions: support, brace, and stiffen.  Support as in the transitive verb meaning to endure or hold up; to serve as a foundation.  Brace as in to make stronger or reinforce.  Stiffen meaning to make stiff or stiffer; not easily bent; to strengthen.  Traditionally, these are the main qualities that we look for in a man as the head of the household and the foundation for the family unit.

If you still don’t get it, then I’ll leave you with this last example:

That wide back shall be able to stiffen so as to brace and support a sofa and move it up a flight of stairs if needed-that shit is sexy!  The fact that it’s capable of doing such grueling manual labor is a testament to his other capabilities.  There will always be something about that caveman quality that will attract women of all types.  No matter how evolved we all are, how educated we become, or whatever other superficial status we achieve, women really only want a man that’ll take them throw them over their back and man-handle them.  Hallelu! 

Am I wrong?

Can’t wait to see the comments on this one lol!

Ox Tails

Ok I hate ox tails!  I’ve cooked them for the family of course, but me, myself personally- I don’t do them.  But a few of my friends suggested that I post this recipe cuz strongbacks like ox tails.  Iono but here yall go…

Ingredients

  • 2 whole ox tails, fat trimmed and sliced in pieces about an inch lengthwise
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • garlic powder, about 2 tbsp
  • 2 large sweet onion, sliced
  • 1 large bell pepper, sliced

Preheat 350°F

In a broiling pan, toss the ox tails with the salt, pepper and garlic powder.  You can add more seasonings here if you like.

Cover with the onions and add water to the pan but not so much to cover the ox tails completely, about a cup depending on the size of your pan.  Cover with aluminum foil and bake until the ox tails are tender for at least 2 hours.  Remove the foil and allow the meat to brown for no more than 10 mins.

Serve with rice.

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