The black unicorn is greedy.
The black unicorn is impatient.
‘The black unicorn was mistaken
for a shadow or symbol
through a cold country
where mist painted mockeries
of my fury.
It is not on her lap where the horn rests
but deep in her moonpit
The black unicorn is restless
the black unicorn is unrelenting
the black unicorn is not
free. -Audre Lorde, The Black Unicorn
Audre Lorde is one of my favorite writers of all time, if not my absolute favorite. You don’t know who she is, I suggest you google her.
The black unicorn is tired yall. She’s tired of a lot of shit, but in particular she’s tired of feeling like she’s living in somekinda glass menagerie. Again, look it up!
Now, while she’s used to being under scrutiny, both publicly and privately. Lately it seems to be way more than she cares to bear. She’s thinking of doing something drastic. Freud would say she needs to regain control of her life, which is why she’s having this contemplation. And he’d be right. But the black unicorn is tired of feeling like she’s being gawked at and treated like a social leper. What would make the black unicorn feel less like a circus act and more humanized is if she were treated as such. Just cuz she’s this exotic creature with a big ass horn protruding from her forehead that she can’t hide (believe me, she’s tried) in order to blend in doesn’t mean she wants to be alienated… Unicorns need love too 😉
The black unicorn needs an outlet; a release if you will. Sure she has plenty of ‘quiet’ hobbies like painting and writing, etc. But she needs to shake it up a bit…actually a lot. She needs to get these heaux offa her back, or at least that’s how she feels. But first thing’s first. She still has a life to live complete with real responsibility. So…I guess playing a hoodrat on the weekends will just have to do for now lol! But even that’s kinda taken a back seat to this PhD thing…between this
STATS midterm and this outline for this paper and these reflection journals and these readings and teaching this class and TA-ing this course…chial its way too much! No it’s not; this black unicorn is unrelenting.
As things begin to pick up for me I have to keep reminding myself that I wanted this; this is my destiny and it’s gonna be great. All of this will pay off one day soon, this I know. Hell it had better with the way George is raping me for this tuition tho… But no seriously, I know I’m fortunate to be able to pursue my dreams and set a course for my future and my legacy. Life just gets hard sometimes yall. And believe me, if it gets any harder it’s gon’ crack! But the lookers on will keep on watching…waiting. Some of them because you’re this exotic creature that they don’t quite understand. It’s ok, hell even I don’t understand how I’m making it these days. Others are just waiting to see you sweat; not everyone can rejoice with you in your accomplishments, especially when they are independent of you. But hopefully, most of them are peeping at the captivating animal beyond the walls with adoration and admiration, hoping that the rest of the world will one day be able to see what it is that they see.
It may have taken a while, but this black unicorn just may have it 🙂
This black unicorn is free.
Buttermilk Spice Muffins
- 1 c sugar
- 1/2 c butter, at room temperature
- 3 eggs
- 2 1/2 c flour
- 2 tsp baking soda
- 1 tsp nutmeg
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 3/4 c buttermilk, plus 1 tbsp additional
For the topping:
- 1/2 c sugar
- 1 c walnuts
- 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1/2 tsp nutmeg
Preheat oven to 375°F
Cream the butter and sugar in a large mixing bowl. Add the eggs one at a time until they are combined.
In a separate bowl, mix the dry ingredients: flour, baking soda, nutmeg, cinnamon. Add along with the buttermilk to the creamed butter, sugar and eggs. Be careful not to over-mix the batter! Add the dry ingredients in parts and avoid many lumps.
In a smaller bowl, mix all of the ingredients for the topping and set aside.
Grease the muffin pans or line them with foil liners. Scoop the batter into each cup until they are about 3/4 full. Top with a spoonful of the topping.
Bake until golden, for about 20 mins. Allow the muffins to cool before serving.