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They dancing yall…

Who???

The skeletons…

Yup, the skeletons in my closet are dancin’ chial and I cannot!

Now, before I go any further let me say that I don’t consider all skeletons to be bad.  What I mean by skeletons is something from my past that I’ve moved on from.  Or at least I thought…

Maybe it’s something in the air, maybe its the weather.  Hell, maybe it’s my alluring southern charm and magnetic personality 😉 But people have always tended to be drawn to me, waaaaay more so than I am to them in most cases.  I don’t know if I told yall this, but I’m a bit of a loner.  I know right! But it’s true.  Always have been, maybe always will be.

Now, let me make another disclaimer by saying that just because I am a high level introvert does not mean that I’m socially inept.  In fact, I’m very sociable.  Not necessarily outgoing, but I’ll just say I’m easy to talk to and sometimes random people find themselves talking to me.  I know how to say very little and extract a lot out of people.  It’s my Jedi mind trick lol.  Nawl but really its just a way for me to satisfy my control and intimacy issues…but anyways…

Chial why I get a random g-chat (from somebody who aint eem on my contacts list) talmbout “Hey, how you doing?”

Whaaaaaaaat???

I know right!!!  I mean I was cordial.  I said I was fine and a conversation ensued.  Turns out I aint talked to this person in about 9 months…they was in an alleged accident that left them in an alleged coma for 3 months and they allegedly woke up 2 months ago …and yall already know how I spent the second  half of 2012- scratchin’ and survivin’.  Now, I say alleged because I’m  a little cynical, I’ll admit it.  And this aint been verified so I don’t know if it’s true.  While, this would be a very elaborate lie to make up, I have seen worse.  So…yeah…

Of course I was able to extract alla this information without revealing any real information about myself other than the fact that I’m in school now and I got a dog.  Meanwhile, I know all the deets about the accident, including the time it happened and why it happened, what it’s like to be in a coma (apparently its like you dreaming like you don’t know you in a coma and you think you doing normal everyday stuff yall- Ikr!), to the pain meds and physical therapy schedule.  That shit cray!

I know yall prolly thinking why I entertained this at all- and I already told you, it’s because I’m sociable 🙂  And this person didn’t do anything to me, just kinda faded to black.  Hell, come to think of it I know I faded to black.  And that was that.  Life’s funny sometimes, things tend to re-appear from your past that you thought you were done with at the seemingly most inopportune times.  Perhaps it’s to teach you a lesson, or maybe its a test.  Maybe it’s a distraction, Iono… But I do know that I can’t be so rigid and I have to learn to roll with the punches sometimes.  This doesn’t mean taking my eyes offa the prize.  There are still pressing matters to which I must attend after all.  But it’s just funny because it reminds me of how I can’t control everything.  I thought I had left a lotta things behind me.  I thought wrong.

 

Yeast Rolls

Ok disclaimer: this recipe is hard and not for the faint of heart.  But I think it’s easy to follow though and being that it’s baking, you can probably do this if you put your mind to it 🙂

Ingredients 

  • 1/2 c warm water
  • pinch of sugar
  • 2 packages of yeast (get the rapid rise yall)
  • 1 c water
  • 1/2 c sugar
  • 1/3 c lard (that’s right, lard) but shortening will suffice
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • 4 1/2 c all purpose flour (white lily!)
  • butter

Yall ready?  Ok here we go…

First: activate the yeast:  add the pinch of sugar to the warm water and stir a little to dissolve the sugar.  Sprinkle the 2 packages of yeast on top of the water and allow the yeast to activate.  It should look foamy after about 5 mins.  Then you can whisk the yeast and let it sit an additional 10 mins just to make sure you wake it all up.

Note: If your yeast does not activate, then you will have flat, hard rolls!  Try proofing it in the microwave or oven with a glass of boiled water if you find it too drafty in your kitchen.  

Meanwhile, in a small pot add the water, lard, sugar and salt over medium heat.  You do not want to bring this mixture to a boil, you just want to liquefy the lard.  Stir this constantly until the lard is dissolved.

Next you’ll want to combine the egg with the liquid mixture.  This can be tricky and if you don’t do this correctly then you’ll end up with scrambled eggs.  So, it’s best if you start with an egg that’s room temperature and whisk it in a large bowl.  While you are whisking the egg, add a small amount of the warm liquid and whisk some more.  Continue to add the liquid in very small increments until it’s all combined and remember to do this slowly so that you don’t cook your egg.

After you have your liquids you can combine your yeast and mix thoroughly.  You should be left with a large bowl of liquid that smells like yeasty goodness lol.  Here is where you begin to add your flour.

I usually add the sifted flour in 1/2 c increments and combine them with a wire whisk.  That’s because I’m old school yall and I like to do everything by hand.  If you’re using a Kithenaid or some other fancy highfalutin mixer then still add the flour in parts.  If you’re old school like me, and are doing this by hand then you’ll notice that towards the end the mixture becomes harder to whisk; this is where you’ll wanna switch to a rubber spatula and start to fold in the flour.

After all of the flour is combined turn the dough out on a clean, dry floured surface and knead it a little, no more than 10 mins.  Spray a large clean bowl with non-stick spray and add the dough ball moving it around to coat the sides.  Cover it with a dry kitchen towel an allow it to rise for 2 hours, it should double in size.

Note: if the dough doesn’t rise, you may wanna try the oven or microwave trick that I mentioned earlier to get the yeast to activate.  

After 2 hours, punch the dough down and cover it with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least another 2 hours, up to overnight.  You can also freeze this dough at this point.  It should keep fairly well.

When you’re ready to cook your rolls, roll out your dough on a clean dry floured surface and cut out your rolls.  You can do this however you want, but this is how I did it (using a small glass- I know right lol!)

2012-11-22 12.05.13

 

Then you place them on an un-greased cookie sheet allowing room for them to rise again.

2012-11-22 12.10.22

 

Cover them with a clean kitchen towel and allow them to rise again for 2 more hours- I know, I know but it’ll be worth it, I promise! 🙂

Preheat your oven to 450°F and bake these thangs until they start to brown on top, about 10-15 mins.  Brush them with butter and you’re done!

2012-11-23 01.25.28

 

See, told you it would be worth it! 🙂

Enjoy!

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