I’ve really been struggling over the past few weeks.  I’ve been hesitant to write these types of posts on this blog as I want to try and be more light-hearted and carefree here.  However, the shit that’s been happening recently (really it never stopped, and those of us who hail from the south know that) just has me deep in my Drake-like feelings.  I have actually been toying with the idea of starting some sort of regular tagline for all of the racist bullshit that’s been coming way way in my day-to-day life, especially in my doc program.  So until I feel better y’all will just have to deal.

Like most of my friends, I’m exhausted y’all.  I really am.  I’m worn out to the point where if I think too much about the current state of affairs of this place I become physically, mentally and emotionally drained.  I’m so many things… I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m frustrated, and most importantly I. AM. TIRED.

So in light of the upcoming celebration of “Independence Day”, I can’t help but to think about all of the shit that’s going on and how that holiday never really meant anything to me.  Nope.  Nothing.  Not even as a child.  For those of us who have had to learn to live in the other America, this is just another day we get off work and another reason to cook out.  And I ain’t mad at that; not at all.  I’d be lying though if I just got drunk off of this pseudo-patriotism that’s making its way around the interwebs.

I mean, this shit is just ridiculous y’all!  You got a white woman who decided that since she had really gone there in terms of the black experience’ by going to Howard (where, she sued the school or racial discrimination as she claimed they wouldn’t show her artwork because she was white).  Chial she got her some crochet braids and bronzer and adopted a black baby or two (which also seems to be en vogue, but that’s a different post for a different time chial).  So now she knows what it is to be black.

I wonder though, if when she sees this photo or similar ones she feels the same sorrow that I feel:

Seriously doubt it.  And what’s worse is that some of y’all coons are actually trying to let this bitch be great!

Another church fire in SC…I believe that’s the 7th one since the massacre in Charleston which was all of 2-3 weeks ago, right? Hell by the time this blog publishes it’ll prolly be up 2 more.  Oh yeah, I bet they ain’t put on the news how the klan took they recruitment efforts up 10 notches after the Charleston massacre went public and not just in SC either.

So nawl.  I can’t celebrate America’s independence from England this weekend; especially when my people are not free.  Not only are we not free, we’re being placed back into that familiar time in history where we are terrorized outright.  We’re not safe.  I will however, continue to pray for the world today.

I wish I had a punchline or some type of witty way to take the edge off of this post.  This really is the lightest version that I’m publishing because this has been putting me through it for real.  I’m hoping that once this is out of my system I’ll feel better and I can get back to shading and posting recipes and what not.  But for right now, my heart is heavy yall.  This is too deep.

That’s all I got.