Tags

, , , , , ,

So I’ve decided to start a new blog series entitled “Hurt N*gga Chronicles” or HNC’s for short.  Yup, it’s exactly what it sounds like.  I have soooooooooooo much material yall- me and my friends do.  Like, serious up I cannot make this shit up!  It’s amazing the shit that these heaux will try and pull.

 Why can’t these dudes just be ok with the fact that they lost?  Like, nigga!  Take this L and keep it pushing!
So Mike Epps got a new special on Netflix and in it he tells a joke about how when niggas fight with they women like each day as time goes by their approach gets different.  Like it goes from the first day of ‘I’mma ignore this bitch cuz she crazy’ all the way to the end when he be like ‘You know I went to church…and I’mma go get some help I called the lady’ and if they especially desperate he’ll even call yo mama and try to talk her into going against her own child…yeah girl cuz that’s a good idea.  Here, this fuck boy is clearly trying to evoke some type of sympathetic response by bringing Jesus into this bullshit.  And I can’t stand that!  Like don’t try to manipulate me by using my faith as a means to soothe your own fragile ass under-developed ass ego.  Fuck outta here!

Why do niggas love to try and put The Lord in they bullshit?  Like, when they get in a pickle they always getting right with The Lord, or they prayed to God or they try and drop a smooth bible verse (that they prolly just googled) on you so as to evoke some sort of sympathetic reaction to they nonsense.

This week’s tale comes from a friend of mines*  So first a little backstory:  They kind of grew up together in NC…went to school together since the second grade.  They grew up and lived their lives, fast forward to some 20+ years later they Facebook friends, follow each other in Instagram, etc.  He moved to the DMV area and they went out on a date one Sunday after church.  And then:

…he said he had feelings for me or some shit next thing i know it’s January and he texted me and i told him i was thinking about him, his ass moved back to Florida to be with her…after over lunch we were discussing both our fucked up relationships…girl they been off and on for 7 years, he’ll go back
So essentially he moved up here for a ‘break’ from her (prolly cuz they had a falling out or sumn) then when things smoothed over he went on back home because it’s poppin right now to live off a woman, y’all aint know???
Months go by…he lives with her but they aren’t together…he’s moving to Atlanta (side note: why niggas always wanna move to Atlanta tho?  Like, that’s go solve all they nigga problems…but that’s another post)…empty promises…lies, fuckery, and fairy tales later my friend decides to cut him off and block him.
Present day it’s Chrimmas time yall and the holidays tend to bring out all kinds of fuckery in people.  So apparently my friend had like several blocked msgs from this dude and so she decided to call  him while driving back to the area from NC.
he talking about he asked God for the same thing and I basically showed him I was out there. But yeah you don’t take 4 months and a fake ring to decide
the fact he thinks we still gon be friends baffles me
image
imageimage
Like….. really girl?  He go just gone on and quote the book of Proverbs tho?  “Trust in the Lord, with all thine heart and lean not unto your own understanding…in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths” -Proverbs 3: 5-6
You know I almost feel kinda bad for including the actual scripture in this petty ass post, but like he started it so…
Watch all the hurt niggas go be at they computer reading this like:

And if you (or someone you love) has a hurt nigga story, and you’d like to share it on this blog, feel free to email me or drop a line in the comments below lol!

Chicken Soup for the Hurt Nigga Soul 

I swear me and all my friends petty af and I love it!  Since it’s cold as shit outside I thought I’d post this easy ass recipe for all the hurt niggas to make so they can get over they hurt nigga feelings.
Yeah crock pot recipes need to simmer for 8 hours.  So hurt niggas can simmer in they hurt nigga feelings.

Ingredients 

  • 1 rotisserie chicken- yup a whole chicken.  You can cut the meat off but it’s better if you just half it and put the whole chicken bone and all in the pot.
  • 1 sweet onion, chopped
  • 2 c diced carrots
  • 1 c diced celery
  • 4 c chicken broth
  • 1 c frozen peas
  • 1 tsp yellow curry powder
  • 2 tsp rosemary
  • 1 tsp ground thyme
  • salt and pepper to taste

Combine all the ingredients in a crock pot and cook on low for about 8 hours.  You can de-bone the chicken before you eat it, and pretty much add whatever you feel like it since this recipe is kinda fool proof.

Advertisements