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Happy Black History month yall!!!!!  Get ready for all the white people in your life to tell you the little known black history facts they googled or all the stuff they learned from their African American Studies class/second major/minor in undergrad.  And am I the only one that noticed they played that damn OJ movie during black history month??? Great times.

You know it’s very flattering to have admirers; fans, if you will.  You know, ppl who so damn basic that they literally keep themselves up at night worrying abt you and what you think or got going on.  So I would be remiss if I disappointed my fans, right?  If I aint give em something to talk about (knowingly or not).  I mean after all, you never want to disappoint your fans girl, ijs…

So a bitch been a little infirm over the past few weeks or so (don’t worry I’m good yall). It’s like while I was out my petty got stronger; like I done leveled up 3x on my petty. Since I took ill (don’t that sound dramatic af? lol) I ended up being out of work for the better part of January.  My first day back  was yesterday.  It was cool and all but best believe there was some fuckery in the mist.

Like how I had a stranger bitch come up to me and express such concern for my condition and tell me how worried she was. Meanwhile I’m like

Yeah girl you have my number so if you were that pressed then you woulda just called a bitch like a grown up.  Little does she know that I know she been tryina be nosey af going around inquiring about me in my absence.  See, it’s shit like that I no longer have time for.

But girl!  Here go the gag: so I’m sitting here at my open-air prison aka my cubicle, minding my own business, headphones in tow when suddenly I hear a rapp tap tapping on my cube.  This young old ass woman that work here go come in my face talmbout, “I just wanted to know if I did something to you…if you don’t like me…because you don’t speak to me…” etc.  I’m like

Girl!  who tf are you and why do you care so much about me and whether I speak to you or not?  Cuz I sure as shit don’t give any damns whether your or anybody else in the bitch speak to me.  How old are we?  Get a life!

That was what I wanted to say.  But lent is coming up yall and I need all the grace and mercy I can scrape up.  So instead of going straight HAAM on her, I said something to this extent:

Let me stop you right there, I am a smooth 32 years old, I know that’s prolly younger than you but I’m grown and I don’t do high school games, and this to me sounds very high school.  You shouldn’t care if people speak to you or not or if they like you cuz I sure as shit don’t.

Yup. Sure did.  But apparently this wasn’t enough for her girl.  So she continued, “Well I know you friends with so and so and they don’t like me so…”

Again, girl, that’s not how I operate and I’m not gonna have this type of conversation with you at work.  You don’t know me but generally I’m pretty introverted and I’m not very outgoing.  The people you see me talk to are prolly the ones I have a previous relationship from when I was here before 

Her: Oh I didn’t know you were here before.

Of course you didn’t- basic bitches don’t rely on any information that is logical but instead they choose to roll with they basic ways so as to try and keep some shit going.

Slow Cooker Turkey Chili 

Because its cold af outside.

Ingredients 

  • 3 tbsp tomato paste
  • 4-5 tbsp chili seasoning, sans the flour
  • 1 lb turkey meat, chopped (dark is best)
  • 1 large can diced tomatoes (28 oz)
  • 2 c chicken broth, plus more for thinning if needed
  • 1-2 cans of black beans, strained and rinsed
  • 1 sweet onion, chopped
  • 2-3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 2 tbsp unsweatened cocoa powder (trust me)
  • 2 tbsp canola oil

So in a large [cast iron] skillet, heat the oil on medium, and add the onion, garlic and cook til soft.  Stir in the tomato paste and chili seasoning to combine and cook for about 10 mins.  This will serve as like a roux almost.  You can throw in the turkey meat here if you want or wait til everything is in the slow cooker.

Transfer the mixture to a large slow cooker.  Add the rest of the ingredients and stir to combine.  Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours, or overnight.  Add more chicken broth to thin it out if you prefer.

Serve with cornbread, corn chips, sour cream, cheese, or whatever you like to eat with your chili.

Note: you can also add a little apple cider vinegar if the chili is a little on the sweater side, but either way it goes hard af.

 

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