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…Because you niggas don’t seem to know your place (again).

I’m back bish!  HNC the second chapter…like to hear it here it go:

I’ve found that this cuffing season has been by far the most eventful that I’ve had.  I swear I think I got the juice or sumn cuz apparently I’m poppin like popcorn (as Mollie would say) lol!  But no I’ve met a lot of mens this season, like apparently I got the glow ‘Last Dragon’ style.

Right now though, I’ve been enjoying free agency if you will.  After leaving my last situation, I decided that I wanted to do some sports dating because why not girl?  These mens do it all the time and it seemed fun (and trust me, it is).  So I can’t say that I’m looking for anything serious, but if something worthy of me getting serious with comes along, then I prolly wouldn’t pass it up

Which brings me to our next tale from the dark side; let’s just call this hurt ass nigga ‘Chipmunk’ for short.  If the petty get too strong later during this post I’m liable to have his name slip out because I gives no fucks.

So I met him, he seemed really cool, good conversation, similar values, mutual appreciation of trap music and all things ratchet, etc.  He was date #2 on my bday and it was actually a pretty dope date.  Perfect gentleman.  But I noticed a trend though- arrogance.  If anyone knows me, then they know that arrogance is an absolute deal breaker, you’ll see what I mean later.

Anyhoe doe…I really like this cat.  Talked on the phone with him for over 3 hours one day, which is an achievement worthy of a Kennedy Center honor serious up cuz I don’t be having that much to say.  So needless to say we had that type of connection.  But I started to notice some things yall…like traits indicative of one of these new niggas that’s pseudo-woke.  Like, apparently he doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving because that’s now how it really happened and Jesus wasn’t born in December and whenever he doesn’t know something he immerses himself in it so as to learn everything he can abt the topic i.e. French or some random bullshit like that.  He does this just to feel superior; like he’s smarter than the next pseudo-woke new nigga, but I digress.

So one day, it kinda hit the fan yall; I read him.  Not for filth and not even in a shady way, but still a read nonetheless.  I basically pointed out some shit I noticed to him, mainly that he wasn’t over his ex and had other self esteem issues that he should work out in therapy.  Side note: aint that just like a damn therapist to suggest other ppl go to therapy? lol!  So after this, he disappeared for several weeks, which is normal cuz he was embarrassed.  His lil hurt nigga ego had taken a hit.  So I let him get his life cuz i’m Gucci…

Fast forward about 6 weeks later.  He send me a random ratchet YouTube link via text message so I hit him up to see what had happened to him.  He had apparently lost his job and moved in with his aunt- ouch!  Again, I let him live because girl ok.  Then he calls me the next night, and this is where the shit gets interesting…I want you to pay attention here.

He starts the conversation thinking we were just gonna pick up where we left off like 6 weeks ago- nawl.  So then when he asked why I was giving him one word answers, I had to let him know like while I understand your situation and I know why you’ve been behaving like you have, this whole disappearing, no communication shit doesn’t work for me so no, I’m not go just like pick up and give you the kind of attention that you’re seeking from me because why girl?

So then he proceeds to tell me about how after our last talk [read] he felt like real exposed and damaged [embarrassed] and like he needed to isolate himself from people [me] so that’s what he did.  Also, he doesn’t think that I wouldn’t be the kinda person to not call him on his shit so…

I mean yeah girl, I wouldn’t.  However, it’s not my job to be your therapist.  This aint social work love, but I digress…

Then, girl!  Things started to take a different turn.  He proceeded to tell me how awesome I was and how I deserved to be in a normal happy relationship and he didn’t know if he could do that for me because hurt people hurt people and I’m like Ok so clearly you’re overestimating your importance to my life but ok girl if you say so.  So I let him keep digging this hole for himself to see just how far this damn rabbit hole would go because clearly this nigga must know something I don’t.  AND. THEN.  Here go the gag chial.

This nigga started talking about how he was [emphasis on was] doing good at being celibate so I’m just like ‘oh ok’ cuz clearly girl that aint my testimony.  Once I didn’t probe him to see what he meant by was, he just took the shit a little further and told me that his ex had came into town about 4 weeks prior and how he ended up sleeping with her and how after that he realized I was right (in reference to my prior read).

 

So I promptly was like ‘well girl it’s been fun!  You take care now, ya hear?’  Like…NIGGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Really girl?  REALLY???????????  There are so many different angles I can take this shit, but I’ll just say this:

image

A.  I thought it was common sense that you don’t tell a person that you’re romantically interested in that you’ve slept with an ex because you that damaged and insecure and fucked up.

B. I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck.

C. Why girl?  It was almost as if the sole purpose of that phone call was for him to confess to me or some shit.  FOH! If you want a therapist then slide me my coin cuz she don’t work for free.

But oh yeah!  I aint finished… then immediately after we hang up the nigga sends me 2 text messages: “Would you like for me not to call you anymore?” -tf you think??? and “Don’t answer that.”  So I had to call this nigga and hip him to some shit real fast.  I told him that I wanted him to “…listen to me, and hear me good and try not to get defensive.  I think that you really need to humble yourself, and talk to your Jesus and really think about what  it is that you want for your life and for yourself.  Because now you’ve just created a dynamic in our interactions that I’m neither interested in nor willing to maintain.”  He said he understood and told me goodbye.  So I shouldn’t hear from this nigga again.

The moral of the story is…

Red Velvet Waffles 

You know, for after Valentime’s morning sects. 😉

Ingredients 

  • 2 c flour
  • 1/4 c sugar
  • 1 tbsp baking powder
  • 1 tbsp cocoa powder
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tbsp cinnamon
  • 1 3/4 c buttermilk
  • 1/3 c oil
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp white vinegar
  • 2 tbsp red food coloring

Whisk the first 6 (dry) ingredients together in a bowl and set aside.  Combine the remaining ingredients (except the food coloring) into a separate bowl and add this to the dry ingredients until smooth.

I’m assuming yall know how to cook waffles in a waffle iron here.  If not, then google cuz girl I can’t.

Serve with powdered sugar, syrup, or hell even the left over whipped cream from the previous night’s Valentime’s shenanigans- I know how you niggas like to get fancy on Valentime’s.

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