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Did I ever tell yall abt how an ex of mines periodically likes to pull stunts to try and slide his way back in my life?  Oh, I didn’t?  Ok…

I know it may not seem like it, but I really tried yall.  I tried not to do something that doesn’t come as natural to me as it does to other people.  I tried to take the high road here; yup, I tried not to be petty.  Not. To. Be. Petty.

Yeah girl you read right.  Key word: tried.  Just like this nigga tried it.

So it’s a few months after I decided we should just gone on.  And I get a call (that I missed) and then a text one Sunday morning asking if I was in town and if so could I swing by to pick him up for church because he wanted to go.  So, begrudgingly, I decided to acquiesce because who are me to judge? deny people of they Jesus?

Side note: He had been without a car for a while, his mama hocked his, but that’s a different post for a different day yall… #PettyWinslow

So anyhoe doe…I get there text him to come downstairs and I notice he unlocks the door to the car I’m parked beside and gets a phone charger out. Then as I back out of my parking space I notice this car had paper tags so I asked him if that was his car and this nigga said, “Yeah I had to get a car.”  Meanwhile I’m like

So then the conversation went something like this:

Me: So if you have a car then why did you call me to go to church? 

Him: I didn’t know where it was 

Me: You could’ve googled or just asked me for the address…so why did you really call me girl? What do you really wanna say to me? 

Him: I just wanna go to church 

Me: Ok… 

Then I promptly proceeded to bust a smooth U-turn and dropped his ass right back off at his car.  Then I asked if he wanted to follow me or if he wanted me to text him the address.  Yeah bitch I don’t play.

See the problem is that this fool tried to use my love of the Lord to manipulate me in order to benefit himself.  And when I called his ass out, he still tried to play me like I’m the one who’s slow.  Like, girl! Don’t you ever try to use my Jesus for your own personal gain.  This is exactly the kind of arrogance that led to his untimely demise.

So yeah…he made his way to church, even sat beside me chial.  Then after church I received a phone call from him thanking me for always coming through for him etc.  But I mean, too little too late girl.  So I decided to gone on ahead and put the final nail in the coffin with, “So now you know where the church is and you have a car so you can drive yourself there anytime you want.  You don’t need to call me anymore.”

So surely, I wouldn’t hear from him again, right???  WRONG! Next time tho yall 😉

 

No Bake Citrus Cheesecake 

Ingredients 

For the crust: 

  • 2 c Chessman cookie crumbs (you can prolly use graham cracker crumbs or another cookie here if you want)
  • 2 tbsp melted butter

For the cheesecake: 

  • 2 8oz boxes of cream cheese, at room temperature
  • 1 envelope of unflavored gelatin
  • 1 c boiling water
  • 1 1/2 c sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 2 tbsp orange zest
  • 4 oz orange juice
  • 1 tbsp lemon zest
  • 1 oz lemon juice
  • 2 c heavy cream, whipped
  • strawberries or other fruit for topping (optional)

Mix the cookie crumbs with the melted butter just so they are moistened.  Then spread them in the bottom of a spring form pan and press firmly down.

To make the cheesecake, proof the gelatin in the water (meaning, in a saucepan sprinkle the gelatin over the [cold] water and heat on medium, just until it’s dissolved]. Add the sugar to dissolve as well and allow this mixture to cool.

In the bowl of your mixer, beat the cream cheese until smooth.  Add the vanilla and lemon & orange juices and zests and continue to mix.  Slowly add the liquid gelatin mixture in and mix to combine.  The batter should still be smooth.  Fold in the whipped cream (being careful not to overdo it so that you deflate the whipped cream).  Pour this mixture into the spring form pan and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, preferably overnight to set.  Top with your favorite topping, such as berries, chocolate, etc.

Enjoy!

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