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I just find it funny how… [you know you better brace yourself, cuz whenever a woman starts off a sentence with this prepositional phrase, that she did not find that shit funny] these mens outchea seem to have God complexes.  Allow me to unpack this for a second.

As a woman, if I were in my early 40’s, say 42 years old, and I had never been married, and I believed that my sole purpose in life was to coach cheer leading, and I had 3 kids, ages 13, 11, and 2, all by different dads…then what would that make me?  A lot of things, right?  Damaged goods…undateable…definitely not wife material, right?  Because patriarchal society.

So why is it that when I meet these mens they have zero shame and almost brag about similar situations?  Why girl?  WHY!?!?!?!?!?!

Now, don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying anyone, man or woman, should be ashamed of their situation, no matter the circumstances.  What I am saying, is that with certain types of experiences should come some humility.

So I met this guy right…42 years old…asked me what I was looking for.  I answered to meet new people cuz duh that’s what I’m looking for.  I mean at least at this point in the game cuz everybody don’t deserve to know certain details of your story, especially upon first meeting.  But anyhoe doe he goes on to tell me that he was ready to be a husband.

So in my mind, you 42 and now you ready to be a husband’ girl?  Something in the air don’t smell right…but I let him continue to dig this hole.  Naturally, I asked if he had ever been married before and he hadn’t, but then the coup de grâce: I asked if he had kids.  He has 3: ages 13, 11, and 2. All by different women.  Of course I’mma inquire further abt the 2 year old cuz girl, inquiring minds wanna know.  That’s real recent.  So instead of telling me anything tangible he launches into this rant abt how his baby mama an ‘asshole’ and a ‘dickhead’.


That’s not what I asked you girl.  But you just told me all that I needed to know, so thank you for saving me some time.  Men: don’t ever bad mouth the mother of your child.  EVER.  I don’t gaf if she eats puppies she is still the mother of your child.  YOU CHOSE HER. No matter what she did/is doing YOU CHOSE HER. It takes 2, and if you were that concerned about not procreating with someone cuz they are that horrible then you woulda either strapped up or just said no thank you.  To a real woman, if you bad mouthing the mother of your child to me, especially in our very first conversation, it’s more of a reflection of your character than hers.

Now maybe this dude is a nice guy, maybe not.  But turn the tables and go back to the first scenario where I described the female counterpart.  That woman would be regarded as damaged goods so quick it aint even funny.  And let her start going on about how her third baby daddy aint shit- RED FLAG! Humility can be such a powerful thing.  Had he approached me on some ‘I’ve done some growing and learned from my mistakes and I’m trying to be a better man’ type ish, he may have gotten a second conversation.  But like, nigga!  Look at me and look at you:

  • Me: 32, never married, no kids, PhD Candidate, self-sufficient, and I probably cook better than yo mama.
  • You: ‘abt to be 43…sole purpose in life is to coach [high school] football…3 kids, ages 13, 11, and 2…[third baby mama] a dick head, an asshole…now I’m ready to be a husband’

I am in no way perfect, and I may come with a plethora of daddy issues, but like compared to you…


So I just posted a recipe for Seafood Pot Pie yesterday.  Yall can getchu a piece of that too.

I thought this recipe was pretty self explanatory, but I was told that it wasn’t for ‘them chicks that can’t cook’ (not my words). I still think it is and I’ll do the best I can so here it go…


  • about 12-15 lasagna noodles (depending on size of your pan), can be regular, whole wheat, or the no bake kind
  • about 1lb lean ground beef, or turkey
  • 1/4 c diced pancetta (I’m telling yall, I put that shit in everything)
  • 4-6 cups Red Sauce (jar is fine)
  • 1/2 tsp onion powder
  • 1/2 tsp garlic powder
  • 2 tbsp tomato paste (optional)
  • 3 tbsp crushed red pepper (to taste)
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 8 oz container of ricotta cheese, at room temperature
  • 1/4 c feta cheese
  • 1 ball of fresh mozzarella (8 oz), plus a cup of shredded mozzarella
  • 1/2 c fresh parmesan cheese ( I use the shaved kind from Trader Joe’s)
  • 1/4 c shaved pesto gouda cheese (Trader Joes), or you can use pesto sauce and another cheese

Preheat oven to 350°F

Cook the lasagna noodles according to the package instructions.  If you’re using the no bake that’s fine, but use the oven settings dictated on the box.

Meanwhile, brown the ground beef with the pancetta in a skillet.  Season with the onion and garlic powder to taste.  After browning add the tomato paste and the gradually add the red sauce to your desire consistency.

Mix some of the parmesan and the pesto gouda with the ricotta cheese and set aside.  Some people put eggs in they ricotta or use cottage cheese but you doing it wrong girl, ijs.  You can also sprinkle parsely in this layer as well just for added color.

To assemble the lasagna: I always line my casserole dish with aluminum foil or that reynold’s wrap parchment/foil hybrid (do your googles, cuz the name slips my mind at the moment).  Start with a layer of the sauce and them sprinkle with the shredded mozzarella to cover it.  Add another layer, then spoon on the ricotta mixture and spread it evenly. Sprinkle with the feta cheese.  Lastly, add your last layer of noodles and repeat the sauce/meat mixture on top, then top with slices of the fresh mozzarella and sprinkle parsely on top.

Bake for about 30 mins or until the cheese is melted on top.  Again, if you’re using the no-bake noodles then follow the package instructions. Allow it to cool a little and enjoy!

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