Cookin' n Heels

When I decided to take the leap and start to publish on this blog again, I knew it had to be different; I wasn’t the same person that I was 10 years ago when I first started Cookin’ N Heels. That girl was so young, so carefree (lol!). Well not really, but I have lived a life since then. I knew the content had to be different because well, I was different. A lot has changed for me since 2009- as it has for most people. Above all, I have had to learn to attend to myself, to care for myself in a more meaningful and tangible way.

Life changes, years of therapy [the therapist always needs a therapist], self-work [begrudgingly], and surrounding myself with people who love and support me, unconditionally have led me to be the person that I am today. And while she’s still adamant about cooking, and heels (tee hee), she’s even more vigilant in her quest for liberation, for love of both self and others, and perhaps most importantly, growth.

Enter mindfulness. Webster defines mindfulness as: the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something; a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. Pretty straightforward, right? Well for many of us, acknowledging our own thoughts and feelings, especially when we have received negative messages that we are ‘less than’, from a very young age, can be down right depressing. So, I have had to learn to put mindfulness into practice in a more meaningful way for me as I have found that the traditional ways that mindfulness is spoken of in the mainstream were not developed with me in mind.

See, most of us don’t have the luxury of going on a mindfulness retreat Eat Pray Love style. This is why I wasn’t really a proponent of using traditional mindfulness techniques; that’s because of how they are usually introduced to us as a practice; very superficially- heavy on the meditation and body scans. Well for someone like me, who deals with anxiety, it can be hard to just sit still and quiet your mind and just be. Certainly it can be done, but it takes diligence, and effort, and work. For someone who is just being introduced to this practice, it can be very off-putting to tell someone to essentially just ‘calm down’.

Enter the everyday, real-world lives that many black women experience in this society. Compound that with the last 10 years being very difficult for me-mainly, entering a PhD program that was not very welcoming or supportive merely 2 months after losing my mother. Let’s not even get into the election in 2016 and the unearthed racism that was exposed in ways that made the world take note with such zeal and vigor that it was undeniable (even though people still try to deny it). Let’s not even talk about 2020 and the pandemic that never ends… Compound all these things [and more] and what you get is a coming of age story that even Tyler Perry couldn’t make up in all of his wildest Madea fantasies.

Through all of life’s changes, some things have remained the same, one of them being that cooking continues to be my spiritual practice. It soothes me, calms me down, quiets my mind, and brings me a sense of inner peace that I haven’t found in many other things. And that, to me, is my opportunity to practice mindfulness. For black women, paying attention to themselves is a revolutionary act in itself. Is it possible? -yes of course. Is it easy? -probably not. Is it encouraged? -well now that depends. The images we are fed certainly aren’t always the most encouraging. So, my solution has been to get to know myself. Spend time with myself. Truly practice self-care beyond facials and bubble baths. For me, self-care means taking care of myself, especially attending to those not-so-pleasant parts.

So, I encourage all women, specifically black women to try and squeeze in every opportunity to be mindful in whatever way suits you. This is our form of resistance. Grocery shopping is great for me [Wegmans is still my happy place!]. I have also come to love swimming as a result of a bad back injury in 2019. Even writing these blog posts are cathartic in a way that isn’t like any other type of writing I’ve done. Today, in this world, it is critical for our ability to not only survive, but to also thrive to pay attention to ourselves in order to cultivate the life that we want. Alice Walker put it best:

“Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.”

–Source: Good Reads

Red Velvet Waffles

Because sometimes, self-care also means eating the sugars (ok not really, but yes really 😉) And besides, who doesn’t like waffles?!?!?!!

Ingredients

• 2 c flour
• 1/4 c sugar
• 1 tbsp baking powder
• 1 tbsp cocoa powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp cayenne (optional, but trust me on this one)
• 1 ^3/4 c buttermilk
• 1/3 c oil
• 2 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 tsp white vinegar
• 2 tbsp red food coloring

Whisk the first 6 (dry) ingredients together in a bowl and set aside.  Combine the remaining ingredients (except the food coloring) into a separate bowl and add this to the dry ingredients until smooth. I’ve found that its best to do all this by hand because you don’t wanna over-mix the batter and also: mindful.

Heat your waffle iron according to the directions for whatever model you have. I tend to like a crispier waffle so I make mine a little on the darker side, but hey do you. Make sure you spray your waffle iron really well with nonstick spray so that the waffles don’t stick.

Pour about a cup of batter into the waffle iron at a time and cook until your indicator light turns green (most waffle makers have this or some type of apparatus to signify that the waffle is done). Repeat with the remaining batter.

Serve these hot with powdered sugar, whipped cream, or a lil cream cheese glaze if you want. Hell, you can really eat these naked cuz they are just that good!

*Note: for Belgian waffles, separate the egg yolks and whites and beat the whites in a separate bowl until stiff peaks form. Then, once all the other ingredients are together gently fold in the egg whites last. This will create that light and airy texture that Belgian waffles are known for. Also, you need a Belgian waffle maker 😁

**Also: you don’t have to do this, but I always throw the first waffle away. My mama used to do that because it somehow cleaned the waffle iron. I know it might not make sense, but I still do it anyway to this day. Veneration.