Cookin' n Heels

Lack of boundaries invites lack of respect

-Anonymous

There’s been a recent trend that we’ve been seeing amongst our young black queens; a sudden uptake in choosing to honor mental health above any public pressure to just ‘shut up and dribble’. Recently, the GOAT Simone Biles gracefully bowed out of the team Olympic finals and other individual events in Tokyo and instead, chose to listen to her body and take care of herself. Simone stated that she was inspired by Naomi Osaka to take this needed time off. I don’t know about you, but to see these two young women tell the world, “Nope”, and instead take their much-needed respite made my heart smile. They made a statement; one that I hope we all follow and prioritize our self care. The start of this journey is setting boundaries.

Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.

-Audre Lorde

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries are critical to our mental health and overall well-being. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and for far too long we are expected to just ‘power through’ any and everything that is thrown at us despite any detrimental effects on our well-being. In the case of Ms. Osaka, this young lady gave her all on the court and just wanted to be left alone after a physically and mentally challenging match. She didn’t want to do press conferences and by saying ‘I value my mental health and I’m reclaiming my time’, she was attacked by the press by saying that it’s part of the job; she was told to ‘shut up and dribble’. No job is worth constant exhaustion and having your time consumed by others. It’s a shame that these young ladies faced such public backlash simply by choosing what was best for them. This is also demonstrative of what boundary setting looks like.

Healthy boundaries are essential to any form of self-care. But what does that look like?

Personal boundaries are what you make of them; you’re in control of them . They’re the rules and/or limits you set to demonstrate to others how to treat you. Setting boundaries is a skill that takes time and consistent practice; not only do you have to determine what your boundaries are, but you also have to decide to enforce them.

But where should you start? Begin by taking a self inventory in which you determine what you feel is in your best interest, be empowered to do what feels right for you. This may be as simple as saying “No”, which is a complete sentence that requires no further explanation. Be prepared to be assertive and voice your values to the people in your life. Trigger warning: You are going to get push back from people. They are try to coax you into doing what is best for THEM. But girl, stick with it no matter what they say or do. Be prepared to say it, mean it and stand up in it! Lastly, be gentle and give yourself grace. This process is hard and it won’t happen overnight. It is a journey that is filled with many hills and valleys. Another recommendation is journaling; it really will help with processing this journey. Finding a suitable therapist is something that we here at are SOLE Food are proponents of. As you navigate through this journey, we like to give you tools to put in your tool box, and for more information on how to set boundaries we recommend the Balanced Black Girl podcast. Episode 86 to be exact! It’s time for us to get better at setting boundaries, and our young queens Simone and Naomi, have shown us that we have to start considering ourselves first; after all, we are worth way more than gold!

Caramelized Onion and Mushroom Baked Potatoes

On the days when I want to unwind, I just want to go back to basics. One thing that makes me reminisce on good times are baked potatoes . I love baked potatoes! Y’all remember the 99 cent menu at Wendy’s? I mean the one with the yellow boxes, it hit different . As a child I felt fancy when I got the sour cream and chive baked potato. I can’t eat loaded baked potatoes like I use to, but a few years ago I made a caramelized onion and mushroom baked potato. It reminded me of those simple times just now with a little more razzle dazzle.

Ingredients

• 2 large Russet baking potatoes
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 large yellow onion
• 8 oz baby bella mushrooms
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/4 teaspoon cornstarch
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup red wine
• Kosher salt
• Salt/pepper to taste
• Butter
• Cheese of your choice (I like blue cheese with this meal)
• Chives, for garnish (optional)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit

Wash, scrub, and dry your potatoes.

Poke holes with a fork through out your potato

Brush the potato with olive oil, and sprinkle with kosher salt

Bake your potatoes in the oven for 60-70 minutes, times vary

While your potato is baking, let’s make the topping!

Slice your mushrooms and onions in your desired thickness.

In a small bowl, whisk together the cornstarch and the vinegar, set aside.

Heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a heavy bottom skillet (I recommend cast iron). Add your onions and cook for about 10 minutes on medium heat. If your onions are beginning to brown too quickly, lower your heat.

Add the sugar to your onions, and put your skillet on low and continue to cook for 20-25 minutes. Stir every 5 minutes.

Add the other tablespoon of olive oil, and add the sliced mushrooms. Saute until tender and browned. Add the red wine to deglaze the pan.

Add your cornstarch/vinegar mixture . Bring to a boil, then reduce to medium-low until thick and syrupy. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and garlic powder (I highly recommend onion salt. )

Slice your potatoes and serve the onions and mushrooms over your potatoes. Garnish with cheese and chives if desired