Cookin' n Heels

I hate to say it. I hope I don’t sound ridiculous. But… I do not like putting myself ‘out there’.

Let’s back up to what got us here… My friend sent an Instagram post to me and just because it was a chance to meet Carla Hall and cook with her- I figured ‘minus well’. I answered a few questions (in 180 characters or less) and somewhat forgot all about it. When I got the email that I had been chosen to compete in the Favorite Chef Competition, I legit thought it was a scam.

Now, thanks to your support, I’m in the Top 10 contenders of my group and I can literally taste the victory! Keep the votes and shares coming!

Doing this competition has been a blessing for me in so many ways. It’s not only been a catalyst for getting me back to work on pursuing Cookin’ n Heels/SOLE Food. But it has also forced me to do something that I just flat out don’t like doing: open up and share myself with people.

This doesn’t necessarily come easily to me for a lot of reasons, that we won’t get into (at least not yet). But I really want to focus on something I recently discovered in therapy- this is definitely a manifestation of how Imposter Syndrome shows up in my life and relationships.

I will literally go to the ends of the Earth and back for people that I love and care about. Oftentimes, I will do this at my own demise and gladly so. The mere thought, let alone expectation that other people will show up for me, even in the smallest of ways, it just never crosses my mind. Because of this, I have conditioned myself to not only not put myself out there, and not share myself with most people. But I’ve also not really made room for other people to show up for me in any real way in most aspects of my life. And I definitely don’t ask for help!

But I’m asking for help now, so please go vote for me and share!

Imposter Syndrome is a big bitch, and because of how pervasive she is I legit never considered that I would garner this type of support from people who may have never eaten anything I’ve made or who I don’t even know! Just off the strength of who I am as a person-my character, y’all are really going up for me and it is giving me soooo much life!

But don’t forget to keep going up for me though, keep voting and sharing🤣

I knew that this shift needed to happen, but I didn’t know that this is how it would come about. Doing things that push us so far outside of our comfort zone and are downright terrifying is not easy. It’s not easy for me to keep putting myself out here for y’all.

As I write these posts I legit have to take a moment to calm myself down because of my own anxiety around opening up. Ultimately, I know that this is a sign that ‘it’s’ working. And climbing this mountain is necessary for my own growth and ultimate happiness and fulfillment. That, is what self-love is.

It’s doing the necessary things that may not always make us feel a certain way, but are good for us in the long run. And I cannot in good faith get on Al Gore’s internet and scream about the importance of self-care and self-love if I am not practicing what I preach. My integrity just won’t allow it.

I’m gonna keep climbing up this mountain though yall. It’s slowly turning into a molehill, and for that I am grateful. I’m truly excited to see how this all shakes out!

Whatever your mountain may be, no matter how many tears you have to shed or deep breaths you need to take, KEEP GOING! I know I am😉

When I get to the Top 5 next week I’ll probably put out footages for y’all…if that’s something you’re interested in of course 🙃

Thank you all so much for being on this ride with me. You can continue to vote here.